Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
