it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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