Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He shit in the fireplace
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
