He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
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He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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