dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
