Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize