I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
