i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
