The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
