I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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