I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
