This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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