The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
