you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
