so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
