And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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