I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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