1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
