I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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