You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
