): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
