what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Randomize
