I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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