Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize