I accidentally had phone sex last night
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
