normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
