We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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