I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.