And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
