did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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