i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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