jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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