Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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