There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
