Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
