Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
