Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
