I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
