we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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