I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
