i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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