I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize