i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
