Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
