Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
