ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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