Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
