i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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