"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
