Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
