last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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