try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
