Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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