fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
it's great music for shaving your balls
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
