Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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