I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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