dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
