I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Still dying that you shit outside
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
