I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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