walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
