but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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