i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
