I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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