I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize