so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
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his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
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Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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